Lessons Learned Through Loss
Losing a baby during pregnancy is so hard. Not only have you lost your child but the dreams of how and when you hoped to grow your family might be shattered too. Losing a baby can change so much in your life. You will cry, you will fight, and you will feel weak. It is often through our hardest trials that we become the strongest. You may not feel that strength for some time, but that strength will come. As you reflect on the lessons you learned from carrying your baby, losing your baby, and grieving your baby you will find healing, hope, peace and comfort again.
Lessons I’ve Learned
Connecting with Others Helped Me
“Going through our loss opened my eyes to what that experience does to a person. You lose your innocence in a way, and gain a deeper empathy for others who have also lost. Getting pregnant with another set of twins a year after losing a set of twins was terrifying, even though the situation was different and the pregnancy was smooth and uncomplicated. Things like ultrasounds sent me into a panic and I would pray and practice mindfulness to cope with the crippling fear. Connecting with other moms who had been through a similar experience really helped normalize my feelings and helped in the healing process as well.”
Alicia JohnsonExperiences in Life Shape our Journey
“Nothing is our timing. You can’t always plan everything. We look back and wouldn’t have the age between our two kiddos any other way! It made us lean on each other and brought us closer as a family! We were also able to be there for others in our immediate family who were having a miscarriage at the same time! It’s all in God’s timing!!”
Jocelyn JacksonI Didn’t Do Anything Wrong to Cause the Loss
“My first miscarriage was my first pregnancy. I started bleeding after my husband and I had been intimate and I felt like maybe we had hurt the baby. We went to the ER and after my examination, the Dr said that the baby’s heart wasn’t beating and that the baby had died. I remember being overwhelmed by grief. I will never forget the Doctor’s kind words….he said that it wasn’t my fault that our baby had died and that most of the time miscarriages happen because something isn’t right with the pregnancy so it is our body’s natural way of letting it go. Those words gave me comfort through this miscarriage and the other 4 I would have later on. I knew that as long as I was doing my best to be healthy and to care for my body–that if I did miscarry, it wasn’t because of something that I did. It was just the way it was supposed to be.”
Shauna BrownLoss Will Change You
“I do know that loss will change you as a person. Your priorities as a person will change, your outlook on life will change, your friends may change, everything will change. It is a life changing event. You will have a pre-loss self and a post-loss self. Not everyone will stick around for you, not everyone will be able to understand how hard this has been. Some people will be too uncomfortable to be around you, some people will treat you like death is contagious, some people don’t want you to inconvenience them with your tears. You are better off without those people. You will gain stronger bonds with the most unlikely people, you will meet people who have walked in your shoes, you will also have the hardcore friends and family who are there for you every step of the way. Lean on those people, you don’t have time for others.”
Donelle FuhrmanRelationships Matter
“People are constantly coming in and out of our lives. I believe that relationships have purpose and that not one person is put in our path without a reason. As we learn to create safe spaces that allow us to build relationships we can help each other overcome some of the hardest trials we will experience in our lifetime. How grateful I am for the people who were placed in my life during one of the hardest things I had yet to experience. People who had gone thru the very thing I was about to experience helped calm my troubled soul.”
Maile YoungI Can Overcome Fear and Have Peace
“I had no idea that getting pregnant after multiple miscarriages would have me filled with so much anxiety and fear. I was thrilled to be pregnant again but the fear of another loss was so real and debilitating at times. I learned that the best way for me to cope with the fear was to pray a lot and say positive affirmations to myself such as, “Trust. Have faith. Don’t fear.” when anxious doubting thoughts would creep into my mind. It helped me to focus on the positive, stay calm and have faith and hope that all would be ok. I learned that with positive thinking, faith and trust I could move forward with more peace and comfort.”
Daisha JohnsonEmbrace the Love That People Give You
“I have learned that there’s really no perfect thing for people to say to you after you lose a baby. I reminded myself often that even if someone said something that wasn’t quite empathetic I appreciated that they reached out and shared their love. I focused on feeling grateful for them extending their love however they knew how to. Whenever you allow yourself to soak up that love it helps heal the parts of you that feel broken.”
Shelby BlantonEverything is in the Lord’s Hands
“I have learned through losing a baby that everything is in the Lord’s hands and I have to be willing to submit to his will, even when it’s hard. We don’t always know why we go through the hardships we do, but I know my Heavenly Father watches out for me and will comfort me during times of trials.”
Sharon StewartYOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU FEEL.
CARRIED THROUGH CONNECTION